7.2 Ways To Become a Shitty Writer
The internet wants you to believe it knows how to make a world class writer out of you. Its self proclaimed Gurus and experts want you to follow their formula, sign up for their newsletter, pay them for marketing you could do yourself and fill up your Twitter DM’s with links to whatever bullshit they are trying to sell you. Aside from writing everyday and being as open an honest as humanly possible, I can’t tell you how to become a better writer.
However, after extensive research and reading parts of unbelievably bad click bait articles, I’ve curated 7.2 ways to become a shitty one. I’ve already implemented one myself as an example.
I’ll do you a solid and put all of the actual tactics in bold, this way you can skip through all the rest while still scrolling through the entire article, maximizing my profits.
Just put a ridiculous number in the title.
You see, humans are stupid. For some reason, odd seeming numbers strike our curiosity. And we click. I’ll bet you were super taken back when you saw the number 7.2 in the title. Nobody’s putting decimal points in their titles like I am.
So we’ve covered the first way. Don’t stop there though — In fact, use a fraction. Make it feel like you started writing up a list and just stopped 68% of the way through and hit publish. This process works best when it’s a list that has already been published on the internet thousands of times before, by hundreds of different writers.
Never share openly with your readers, instead — instruct them to do things you don’t do yourself, in a condescending tone.
I cant emphasize enough how important it is to speak down to your readers. It’s the quickest way I know to become a dime a dozen writer who provides no actual value. Make yourself seem inhuman, like it might be a piece of artificial intelligence writing the article. Have zero personality, don’t write as one who your readers can relate to.
