In Defense of Men Who Don’t Rape


Well, what a week it has been. First, Bill Cosby was finally handed down a long overdue prison sentence of 3–10 years, for just one of the many heinous crimes he committed against what I personally believe was many women.

Seeing him sentenced brought me relief, because I truly believed he’d be another man whose money and fame allowed him to get away with completely unthinkable acts. And yes, as a man, I too find them disgusting, horrible and unthinkable.

Then yesterday, Brett Kavanaugh and Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified before the senate judiciary committee about sexual assault allegations the woman has made against Kavanaugh.

The hearings understandably brought out powerful emotions from both Kavanaugh and Dr. Ford. And also from just about everyone who has a Twitter account. While I didn’t watch the hearing, I watched the highlights before writing this — in the interest of writing this.

It’s not that I’m uninterested in the situation, it’s just all been a bit much. I can’t turn on my television or scroll social media without hearing or reading the word rape. While I truly hope justice is served and the truth comes out in the end — the reality is only three or four people know what happened that night and those people are Brett Kavanaugh, his friends who Ford alleges was in the room when it happened and Dr. Ford herself.

You see, the issue is even with the last sentence I wrote above, there are people who will attack me for it. They’ll say I don’t believe women and I am a part of the problem. Meanwhile, nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is, I believed the testimony I heard from Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. Outside of a highly targeted political conspiracy, I see no benefit to her lying.

Also, it should be noted that I had Brett Kavanaugh pegged as liar who was hiding something from the moment I watched the video below, which I saw well before the sexual assault allegations were made against him.

While I know in my mind and heart, the man is lying and or hiding something in the video above — the problem is, what I know in my mind and heart are not admissible in a formal setting. Mainly because, I could be wrong.

I am on Medium daily, if not to write, at least to read. The amount of story titles I see, that are disparaging to men as a gender, have been on the rise lately. I don’t comment on them — because what would be the point?

I’d end up in an unwinnable debate with thirty women and possibly a handful of men as well. I have no interest in such, so I don’t bother.

However, I have my own platform, voice and opinions. They deserve to be heard, just as much as those stories I’m referring to.

When I say “In Defense of Men Who Don’t Rape”, I don’t mean it in a combative way towards women. I believe rape is the solitary most terrible act a man can commit. I find it worse than murder, personally. I say that because there are justifiable reasons to commit murder, while the same can’t be said for sexual assault of any kind.

I believe women. I believed them when I was growing up and they’d confide in me about the awful things they lived through and survived. I believe at least 80% of the women who made allegations against Bill Cosby. I’m on women’s side on the issue as a whole — but all men are not responsible for the horrible acts that terrible men commit. Our latest news cycle, shouldn’t give women the impression that all men, are like these men.

While rape is the worst act a man can commit, falsely accusing a man of rape is an absolutely egregious thing for a woman to do. While I don’t believe it happens often, to say it never happens is simply untrue.

I don’t say so as speculation, I know two personally who admitted to making such stories up. This has no effect on the women I do or don’t believe, I’m simply pointing out the fact, it does happen.

To paint all men as monsters for what a minority of us have done, is unfair.

To use the awful things women have lived through and survived, as a jumping off point to bash men for clicks because of what’s trending in the news, is manipulative — as well as belittling to both the women who’ve lived through such and men who have done nothing wrong.

My heart goes out to every woman who has endured something as horrible as a sexual assault. Just know, myself and a majority of men as a whole are on your side. We believe you and are listening. It’s just men being attacked as a whole, without warrant that I have an issue with. I’m not Brett Kavanaugh nor Bill Cosby.

I didn’t want to write this article, mainly because a large majority of my regular readers are women. I’d never want them or any other woman to feel I was attacking them, for what other women have written. That’d be hypocrisy at its finest. However, I just felt the need to make my voice heard.

Writing About the Human Condition, via My Thoughts, Observations, Experiences, and Opinions — Founder of Journal of Journeys and BRB INC ©

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