We all know people whose pessimism could fuck up a wet dream. People who find the negative in even life’s most pleasant offerings. Those who aren’t satisfied until they’re unhappy and their unhappiness spreads among those around them like a black plague. I’m referring to those who literally suck the happiness out of a room upon entering it with their overall energy
For a long time, the people closest to me were of that exact variety. Whether we know it or not, we become who we surround ourselves with. It is practically impossible to even just spend a few minutes around the likes of such and maintain an overall positive attitude. What happens when these people are our spouses, best friends and parents? Their negativity and miserable outlook on life begins to wear on you, then slowly but surely begins to wear off onto you.
The closer you are to them and the more you attention you give them, the worse it seems to get. Both their behavior and it’s effects on you. Pretty soon you practically enable and openly welcome their nonsense. You’ve become so accustom to it. “They can’t help it, it’s who they are” we falsely tell ourselves and others.
Then one day, you realize the positive and pleasant person you once were is gone, nonexistent. We’ve become the negative person we swore we’d never be, because we never cut these people in our lives off when we should have. We never built a wall or at least set a boundary. So we became them.
It’s noble to tell ourselves we’ll simply not let their negative attitudes effect us. How it’s not our problem and has nothing to do with us — but nothing could be further from the truth. Negativity finds problems where there aren’t any and makes it everyone’s collective problem, blaming everyone except themselves of course. That has everything to do with us.
It is not an easy thing to cut off those we truly love and care about and I’m not necessarily asking you to do so. But I am asking you to reexamine your closest relationships, take an honest inventory of what kind of value each of the people closest to you bring to your life. I don’t mean it in material or monetary terms. I mean, how do you feel inside when you’re around them? How do they make you feel about you? Is it a two way street, so to speak? Is it a reciprocated relationship or is it all take and no give on one part?
My least favorite quality in a person is a negative outlook and demeanor. The person who constantly has on a sour face and can’t wait until someone inevitably bites and asks “What’s wrong?”. Even though they won’t tell you. Because deep down, everyone including them knows, they’re what’s wrong. It is nothing more than attention seeking behavior. Their perspective is wrong. It is tinted by a shade of pessimism so deeply ingrained in them, it finds the negative in anything and everything. There is no satisfying someone who is internally committed to being unhappy.
The best thing to do is to show them you want no parts of it. Tell them to save the half hour phone call of petty complaints for someone else because they’re literally sucking the life out of you. That their negative energy is draining and belittles all the good things in life. Find a way to slowly but surely remove negativity from your life, even if it’s at the cost of the people in it.