Still, I Survived

A meditation of sorts on life and death.

Brian Brewington
3 min readMar 7, 2022


Photo by George Pagan III on Unsplash

A game of chance they called Russian Roullette with more than one in the chamber. Should a stray or perfectly aimed bullet strike me tonight, let it not be in anger.

Revolt regularly, it’ll make revolution seem less impossible. Fight with all your might for what you believe is right. Real men stand up for what others believe in, as well as their own values.

Threats came and proved mostly empty, which was a shame considering how forward we looked to half of them coming to pass.

If there’s one thing I learned about life so far, it’s that both living and learning can hurt. Especially without a Why to drive you.

The daily wounds add up — both of the individual and the collective. Rarely is it ever more than we can bear, it just too often feels that way.

However, if there’s one thing I learned about death so far, it’s that whether you spend your time fearing it or forgetting all about it — it still comes. As far as I can tell, better to make the best of it, and make it worth it by living life to the fullest while you can.

Win, lose or draw, nobody gets out alive. Half of us don’t even remember what happy means, or simply don’t possess the means to be happy.

We can wallow in that fact and further perpetuate its truth or get up and do something about it. We can be elements of change — or merely people who complain about the status quo. The choice is always ours though.

Scrapes, cuts, scars, and the stories we tell ourselves about them — end up being the story we tell others about our lives and how they came to pass.

Be careful about which ones you make yourself the victim or the hero in because too often, we’re neither — despite how many times we tell the story.

Living scared never did anyone any good, it never helped a single person’s cause or perspective and never bettered us as a people.

Fears too often prove irrational, by our worst-case scenarios we waste so much of our day ruminating over, never coming to fruition. We should see this as evidence of their deceit but instead, let the fact we ever ruminated about them, take the lead and form our realities. So we ruminate some more until we’ve spent our entire day doing little more than needlessly worrying.

This never worked, for anyone. Not in any capacity or any sense of the phrase. Why try and live your life based on a failed philosophy, and centered around irrational fears that stop you from ever truly living?

Life shows up regularly, for everyone — what we do with it is up to us.

It’s what we’re capable of doing with it, that makes life and death worth it.



Brian Brewington

Writing About the Human Condition, via My Thoughts, Observations, Experiences, and Opinions — Founder of Journal of Journeys and BRB INC ©