Stop Playing Victim to the Circumstances You Created

Image for post
Image for post
Photo Credit: www.r2da.wikia.com

Few things irk my soul like seeing grown ass adults, playing the victim in an attempt to solicit sympathy. I’ve seen it my entire life, from adults who were closer than close to me who I won’t name in this article — out of respect.

I’ve made a million and a half mistakes in my life. My decision making has cost me more pain than I care to reflect on. The uncontrollable fits of rage that once seemingly ruled my life, were a flaw that hindered my happiness for a cruel amount of time. However, what I never did (even as a child) was victimize myself. I’ve never felt sorry for myself or wanted others to either. In fact, I find the thought appalling. Save your sympathy, I’ll have none of it.

That’s probably because I’ve seen and studied people who were and still are supposed to set examples for those they’ve brought into this world, go about in pity for themselves for the majority of their lives, as a textbook manipulation tactic. In a way, I’m grateful to them because it’s taught me how to spot manipulative and toxic people from a mile away. It’s like I smell them coming and the scent is never pleasant. They reek of horse shit and frailty.

You and solely you, are responsible for the life you’re living. Nobody is coming to save you. You don’t get to complain about the circumstances you co created through a lifetime of selfish actions. I mean you can but nobody is listening or taking you seriously — and nor should they be.

Accountability allows you to stop blaming everyone else, every time something doesn’t go your way. I don’t waste time finger pointing. Before I begin to blame another, I take a long hard look at what role I played and which actions of mine led me to that point. Because it always starts with ourselves, as individuals. You have no control of what other people do, only of yourself and how you react and respond to the world around you.

When you finally learn to stop blaming others for the circumstances you’re responsible for and feeling sorry for yourself — you learn to live in solutions. The time you waste blaming others for your problems, is time and energy that could have and should have been spent solving them.

I didn’t write this to belittle or criticize anyone, I just want to see everyone do better. Blaming others gets us nowhere. Accountability is what allows us to navigate out of the pit of despair and pattern of finger pointing.

Perhaps you’re not even halfway responsible for the terrible circumstances you’re facing. Well I’m sorry to hear that — but my sympathy will get you nowhere and neither will anyone else’s. It’s called life, learn to deal with it. Children complain about it. Adults take ownership and do something to change what they don’t like. There is a tremendous amount of power in taking ownership of our problems. Because it’s only by owning them, that we can begin to solve them.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store