This piece is not worthy of the 1k claps, 50+ comments, and general attention it's received. Most everything I've ever written is better than this. Also, some of you seem so hellbent on finding something to be offended by or a reason to attack me personally, I assure you there's plenty to pick apart in other stories I've published here on Medium in the last 4 years. I'm just honestly tired of discussing this one.