Member-only story
What The F*ck Am I Even Still Doing Here?
A self-imposed inquisition
There are very few topics I couldn’t pump out a minimum of 500 words about. This is because I am a writer. It’s all I know, the only thing that comes 100 percent natural to me, that I’m better at than the majority of people I know and meet.
But there’s a lot I don’t and won’t write about. For example, not one time in my entire writing career — and it is a career being I’m a paid professional — have I ever written about what was trending, just for the sake of doing so. I’ve never catered or pandered. Not to a reader and not to an editor. Perhaps it was to my detriment. Maybe I’d have been better off rocking the boat less than I have over the last three years here.
Because call me paranoid if you want but I have an exponential number of followers than I did when I was first starting — yet somehow my engagement, readership, and earnings have all completely nosedived since then. I won’t speculate as to why that is or how it’s even numerically possible, I’ll let each of the very few people this will probably reach decide for themselves.
I’ll be honest, I’ve given you all my very best. I’m tired of bleeding openly here without a just cause for doing so. I don’t know what else I could possibly give you all, that I haven’t already offered up freely, time and…
