Confusion comes from having so much to say but not knowing how to or feeling capable of saying any of it to anyone. It comes from being damn near thirty years old and still having very little idea about who you are or what your doing. It comes from not understanding yourself and assuming nobody else will either because you don’t understand them, so how could they.
Anger is born out of fear. Fear of not being able. Not wanting to but having to. Fear of not being good enough. At anything or for anyone. I don’t know what i’m angry at a lot of the times. But it’s there. That voice that says i’m not content and that I never will be. That I don’t deserve to be. It’s the blatant and ever glaring fact that I just don’t enjoy the things that most people do. Fear thrives off of what ifs. Anxiety lives in a self made mansion of improbable pessimistic possibilities. Anger comes from the fear that “what if I can’t?” creates. Frustration and self hatred are the forgotten and unwanted children of all of those things.
Regret is an endless playing movie in your head that you’ve already seen of things you could and should have said and done differently. It’s the decision that you didn’t make or that you waited to late to make. It’s the determination that it’s too late to change. A determination made by that same self hatred and self doubt. Regret creates self pity which is a favorite hangout of the hopeless.
Regret is the pain you’ve caused others and yourself that you wish you didn’t.
Acceptance is what helps cause some of that pain to finally cease.
Faith gives all of these things i’ve talked about the fight of their life.
Honesty is what enables you to finally stop running.
Willingness to stand up and face the day as it is creates the courage that combats some of that fear that I talked about.
Gratitude for all of the little things in your life stops the void inside from becoming bigger.
It stops you from taking an inventory of all the things you don’t have that your false sense of self entitlement tells you you’re owed.
Misery is born through none other than our own thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and everyone else. Those thoughts lead to actions that further dig our way into that dark hole. Our inactions stop us from getting out of that hole.
Hope is always accessible. Better is always possible. Change is constant.
We create our realities. What we tell ourselves about ourselves creates ourselves.
Freedom is feeling able and willing to. Independence comes from not having to.
Better starts with you,today and ends there also.