Why I Stand Dead Center
The Idiocracies and irony of being me
I’ve tried to make it clear where I stand politically, culturally, socially and spiritually — even if I’m not always a hundred percent clear on it.
I’m not a Republican, though I’m not a full liberal by any stretch either. I tend to lean democratically when I do vote, though sometimes both candidates are so bad — I just stay home, smoke weed and ponder over how bad they are.
(*cough : 2016 Primary: cough*).
I attended the Bernie rally that was held at Drexel University that year, but mainly because my best friend offered to smoke the quarter ounce of purple haze he had if I went with him. I won’t knock the event, hipsters were peacefully playing hacky-sack and smoking joints the same size as ours.
It was far out, even if it was to the left.
We didn’t stay for the speech I presume Bernie eventually gave, because I mean let’s be honest — politicians are a fucking snooze. Plus in our heart of hearts, as nice as free healthcare for everyone sounded, we knew he wouldn’t win. How could a bleeding heart, boogie down bro like Bernie ever beat a woman who looks like she was the empress of an evil entity in a past life?
While I found the “lock her up” chants comically uncalled for, I didn’t want her as my President either. Though, had I known her opponent had a realistic shot at winning — I would’ve forced myself down to the polls and went with the lesser of the two evils.
Even though she probably did delete those emails, and only sat down with Charlamagne on The Breakfast Club to convince us all she loved the hippity-hop and was as woke as Snoop Dogg’s smoke.
I did my part in voting for Bernie in the general election, and even worked the polls that day — but only because I was paid a hundred bucks to endorse some state rep running for congress. I spent the day hanging with a bunch of good looking twenty-somethings who spent more time worrying about how their hair looked than who they were voting for. I was given a free lunch, handed out some flyers, hit on some hipsters and got the hell out of dodge as soon as I could.
The candidate I was paid to endorse lost, his opponent was as corrupt as I believe most politicians to be and his Cronie Congressman of a father was even worse.
Unfortunately, as we all know, Bernie lost too. They called him “unelectable”. Which is ironic considering who ended up as president.
Plus, it’s damn near four years later and he still isn’t dead, as many suspected he would be. Poor Bernie, the Bern can’t catch a break and neither can his campaign workers when they text me. I love entertaining myself.
Look, I disagree with the far left and with most of the right, too. Though, I see where some of the left is coming from on some issues and understand the right’s interest in wanting to guard their interests.
If I could avoid taxes, I would never pay a single red cent, regardless of what color state I lived in. I don’t pride myself in giving away money for no reason.
Confusing, right? (no pun intended) Well, imagine how I feel.
You’re just reading all of this, I have to deal with the thoughts that lead to me writing such perplexing pieces. I have to live with them on the daily.
I’m part Native American, part Irish, part Scottish — part my Grandmother slept with too many men who never stuck around to fully comprehend what the fuck I am.
The Scottsman in me hates the Irish side and vice versa. They’re stuck in 1639.
The Native American in me wants to offer them both a place to stay for the night but understandably fears his generosity will be rewarded with blankets covered in smallpox or a full out genocide. Plus it’s tired of being called a Redskin and Indian. Columbus was way off and we’re still perpetuating his bad sense of geography.
My inner Native wants to enjoy his peace pipe, while both the Irish and Scottish in me want straight whiskey — but they keep fistfighting over whether to do shots of Jameson or Balvenie.
This leaves me asking the bartender for a Firewater on the rocks, as he stares at me baffled before angrily pouring me a shot of Fireball — and I fucking hated Big Red gum as a kid.
I believe in equal pay for women, as long as they’re equally good at doing the job. I’m pretty certain at least some of the stats I’ve seen on such are taken so far out of context, it ruins the argument for women who truly are paid less than the men they work with to do the same job. I have no doubt it occurs and that’s terrible.
Women should have the right to choose what they do with their bodies, in every state in America as well as elsewhere — no questions asked.
If a woman gets pregnant and doesn’t want to keep the baby but the man who got her pregnant does, he shouldn’t have to split or pay for the abortion he doesn’t want her to get and should go and find a new spouse. IMHO.
However, the woman should never have to travel three states away to get that abortion, nor should she be condemned, told she can’t, or have to do it in a dark basement courtesy of a veterinarian. she’s not being treated for bullet wounds in a Breaking Bad episode, this is real life and she should be able to exercise her bodily right with some dignity. Your religious beliefs have nothing to do with her body or unborn baby.
There are countless circumstances where abortion is the best option for not only the would-be Mother, Father, and their families — but there are also ones where it’s in both the unborn baby’s and perhaps society at large’s best interest as well. Again, that’s my opinion. I’m not selling anything and I’m certainly not showing up to any sort of protests, for anything, ever.
A man should pay for the first date if he wants a second one. But I feel like we’re past the point of opening car doors. Equality comes at a cost I guess — and car doors are it.
I’ll hold the door to the restaurant open for my date, but come to think of it I pretty much hold the door open for anyone entering after me. I don’t base it off gender, age, color, creed or kind. I just try to be courteous when I can.
I’ve lost readers for this before, but I’ll lose more if I have to because I’ll say it again — in most circumstances I feel like alimony is wrong. Again, we are equals. This is not 1950. You should be paid the same as I am to do the same job equally as well, so why at the end of a mutually agreed-upon divorce, would I owe you half my net worth? I just think fair is fair. Equal is equal.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are circumstances where alimony is only right — but “in order to maintain the lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to” is not one of them. There’s a lot of things both parties become accustomed to during marriage and a majority of them will and should be ending when the marriage does, make sense?
I know the likely response some of this will get on this platform and frankly — I don’t give a damn my dear. I’ve more or less been shunned and shadow-banned anyway, might as well say what I have to say.
Police have never helped me. Furthermore, they’ve hurt me more than they’ve ever tried or even wanted to help me. They’ve broken their own supposed code of conduct as they’ve unlawfully harassed/detained, stolen from, threatened, physically assaulted and belittled me.
I’m pretty sure this is because they and many others often mistake me as being of Hispanic descent. In fact, on one or two occasions I was verbally directly criticized for wrongly being pinpointed as such. I can only imagine what it’s like actually being brown or black — I’m just tan and Native.
Yet, I still respect the job they do overall and empathize with Police. I’m aware those I have come across are not the majority, I need to believe that.
Though, my personal experience has left me feeling a bit indifferent to them, as those I’ve dealt with have clearly felt the same towards me.
As far as guns go, I own two but they’ve fortunately never been used outside of a shooting range. I don’t have nor want a license to carry them, though I qualify to legally obtain one if I did. One is under my bed and the other is in a safe in my closet. When children visit my home, both get locked away.
I, like many others, believe in responsible gun ownership. However, I do believe something needs to be done about the amount of gun violence we see here in America on a daily basis — I just don’t know what that something is, unfortunately. I don’t think there is an absolute answer, at least not a realistic one we will ever see put into action or law, anyway.
Go ahead gun nuts and anti-gun nuts — fire away. I know both sides may have plenty to say about the barely two paragraphs above on guns. I may read the potential long-winded responses I may get from either polar extreme but please understand — I can’t and don’t take extremists seriously.
If you want to write five lengthy paragraphs about guns, maybe you should use the ‘New Story’ option Medium so kindly provides us all with and publish it there. Just a suggestion. You’re free to do what you will, as we all are.
If you believe rap music is responsible for gang violence, then you must believe Marilyn Manson is responsible for school shootings too. In which case, I hope something I’ve said above offended you because I don’t want you as a reader — nor to be associated with or communicate with you in any way so save your comments for a writer who will read them. Onward.
Most, if not all politicians are liars — but then again, so are most if not all people. We all lie, fabricate or stretch the truth here and there. If you say you never have, you’re either Jesus freshly risen from the dead or you are a mere mortal who is actively proving my point for me.
I believe in God but he probably isn’t anything like the one you believe in. The one I believe in isn’t vengeful, Catholic or Christian.
My God is a chill, non-denominational one, who never worked a Sunday in his life.
Therefore, he isn’t mad if I prefer to watch a terrible football game that’s played in London for marketing reasons and broadcasted here in the states at 9 AM, over going to bend and kneel a bunch of times in some building with crosses on it. Oops, did I say he? I meant it, or her, or — err — whatever.
My beliefs are confusing, somewhat unique and sometimes conflicting. They may anger some, I’m subject to change them at any time and I often do, because I’m open-minded and they are a hundred percent mine.
I don’t force them on others, I’ll never knock on your door with a group of my associates to tell you about them, I just express them openly in written form every so often. I’m completely within my rights to do so, despite the fact I’m pretty certain a large percent of the VIPs on this platform wish I wouldn’t.
So feel outraged, call for my cancellation, ignore my submissions, make me less visible, pay me less — all while you fight for justice and equality with the other hypocritical hand of yours. It’s all just entertainment, to me.
Thanks for reading
